


Hold Me Tight

by Arithese



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: A lot of trigger warnings apply, Denial, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Angst, Full warnings at the end, Gen, Hurt Richie Tozier, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Movie Night, Psychological Trauma, Richie & Bev friendship, The Losers Club (IT) Love Each Other, Underage Drinking, Underage Rape/Non-con, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arithese/pseuds/Arithese
Summary: The Losers are having a movie night when they discover something horrible happened to Richie.
Relationships: Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier
Comments: 9
Kudos: 213





	Hold Me Tight

**Author's Note:**

> Before reading this story I must warn that there are a lot of triggers in this story.. nothing is too graphic apart from the vulgar language the Losers and co uses, but it’s heavily implied and talked about.
> 
> Also, I do not at all agree with what they’re talking about at one point, but you’ll see what I’m talking about when you read it. Please proceed with caution and don’t read it if this is too triggering for you. And to be safe, I’ll put full warnings at the end, but these have massive spoilers for the story, so those who don’t want to be spoiled don’t have to. But stay safe!

“No fucking way Eds, have you seen him?” Richie complains, throwing his arms up and gesturing wildly. Eddie grumbled, shaking his head.

“Not everything is about looks Richie, he’s a vampire, which is so much cooler.” Eddie shoots back, and Richie snickers, slinging an arm round the younger boy.

“Of course it isn’t Eddie-bear, if it was you’d be the best.” Richie pinches Eddie’s cheek, and Eddie immediately slaps his hand away. “But everyone knows werewolves are much better than vampires, who doesn’t want to turn into a wolf?” Eddie shudders.

“No one does, they’re a walking disease probably.”

“Bullshit Eds, besides, you’d be the cleanest wolf of the pack.” Richie grins, leaning in close to Eddie’s ear. “I’d even let you clean me if my stench bothers you so much.”

“Beep beep Richie!” Eddie screeches, pushing the boy away from him. Richie barks out a laugh as he tumbles off the couch, landing on Stan in his fall. He immediately slings his arm around him. “Stan the man, help me out here, tell Eds that werewolves are much better.” Richie asks but Stan rolls his eyes before pushing Richie off.

“I like being human, thank you very much.” Stan grumbles, glancing over at the rest of the Losers, or at least the ones that were in the living room. Bill and Mike had gone to the kitchen to get snacks ready for the movie night, something they had agreed to do every other weekend.

The four of them, Bill, Stan, Richie and Eddie had done movie nights before, but they were sporadic, whenever they felt like it, but now since their club had almost doubled in size, and especially after the whole ordeal that faithful summer, the movie night had started to become a regular thing.

It wasn’t always at Bill’s home, but often times it was.

Sonia barely let Eddie have friends over, and even when she did, everyone could feel the tense atmosphere around them. Eddie wasn’t comfortable with his mom watching their every move, and that didn’t truly leave when she was gone either. So it wasn’t his favourite place to host them.

Richie had the same problem, and yet completely the opposite. Eddie was probably the only Loser who truly knew why Richie hated home, as he had been the one Richie had gone to in the middle of the night once, sporting a split lip and a bruise decorating his cheek, but even Eddie didn’t know everything.

And even when Richie’s parents were away.. he didn’t like being at home at all, and he was constantly afraid his parents would come back at random times when he wasn’t allowed to have people over. And he was _not_ looking forwards to making his parents angrier, and giving them more excuses to hurt him.

Ben’s living room was too small for all 7 of them, even if they had stubbornly done so more than once, and Mike’s farm too far away. Bev’s home was big enough, but she didn’t want to overstep with her aunt, even if she had continuously reassured that it was okay, that she didn’t mind if Bev had a movie night, or even a sleepover at their home.

Bev’s aunt was ridiculously nice, but it was obvious Bev was still scared from what her father had done, even after a full 2 years had gone by.

Which only left Bill’s home for them to crash at, which his parents were luckily perfectly okay with.

“Will you guys be okay for the evening?” _Speaking of…_ The Losers look up at Bill’s parents standing next to each other, and Zack has an arm around Sharon’s middle.

“We will, thanks again for letting us stay Mr and Mrs Denbrough.” Ben spoke up, and Sharon smiles.

“I told you to call me Sharon.” She says with an amused smile, knowing it was futile to still try.

“Mom w-we’re 16, we can h-handle ourselves.” Bill laughs as he walks back into the room, carrying two bowls of snacks. Sharon smiles, ruffling Bill’s hair.

“I know honey, have a nice evening.” She smiled.

“You too.” He says as he watches his parents leave. Bill shakes his head to fix his hair as much as possible but eventually just gives up and walks over to the couch to put the bowls down on the table in front of it.

“You’re full of shit Kaspbrak, Jacob was definitely human in the first movie.” Richie yells, and Bill glances at them. Stan was still trapped beneath Richie’s weight, but had apparently already given up, if the annoyed look he sent Bill meant anything, but Richie was only focused on Eddie.

“Was not Tozier, he has always been a werewolf.” Eddie defends.

“Bullshit, he would’ve turned if he was. He became a werewolf, and so can you.” Richie says, finally noticing Bill. “Billiam help me out here, Stan has already betrayed me and I need you to tell Eddie he’s wrong.” Richie tries.

“Don’t d-drag me into this.” Bill retorts, as he walks over Richie to push him off Stan.

“Rude.” Richie shoots back as Stan groans, quickly climbing up now the weight was gone. “You wound me Big Bill, you were supposed to be on _my_ side. Just leave me here to die.” Richie cries dramatically, but Bill just rolls his eyes.

“Mike has g-garlic bread.” He just mentions, and Richie’s eyes immediately light up.

“Now why didn’t ya say so gov’na?” Richie grins, jumping up as Mike walks back into the room. “Mikey boy have I mentioned how much I love ya?” Richie plants a sloppy kiss on Mike’s cheek, or at least tried to, but Mike simply moved the garlic bread between them so he couldn’t.

That didn’t stop Richie however, grabbing a piece of the bread before tiptoeing around Mike to still kiss his cheek.

“Now tell Eddie he’s wrong, and that werewolves are much better.” Richie grins, rushing back to the couch. Mike shakes his head, sitting down on the ground and passing the bread towards the others.

“I’m team Switzerland.” Mike said, and Richie gapes at him.

“Oh you’ve definitely read the books!” He sputters, but Mike shook his head.

“The movie has been out for years genius,” Mike snickers softly, glancing at Richie for a moment. But before the resident Thrashmouth could respond, Bev spoke up.

“Can we please just start that movie guys? You can discuss your man boners afterwards.” She retorted, and Richie wiggled his eyebrows at that.

“I’d pop a real one for that beefcake any day.” He says, but Bev just shoves him away, causing him to tumble off the couch again. “Fine, start the movie. But don’t blame me when it happens during the movie.” Richie complains, grabbing onto the blanket that Eddie was using, tugging at it until he could more or less wrap it around himself.

Eddie grumbled but didn’t complain, not even when Richie’s back leaned against his legs. Bill rolled his eyes again, but eventually complied with Richie’s request, turning on the movie.

Bill settled on the end of the couch, eyes focused on the television as he snuggled up against the rest of the Losers. It was the second Twilight movie, and so far it was no better than the first one, which was saying _something_. Not like they ever watched these movies very seriously.

Richie couldn’t shut up, ever. The only time probably being in his sleep, but even then did he occasionally mumble something. But not even a movie could convince him to shut his mouth, and he was one of the Losers that continuously supplied them with commentary, mocking the movie and predicting what would happen.

Or at least _trying_ to.

They were almost halfway through the movie when Bev’s phone made a sound and she absently took out her phone. Bill watches her silently, even after all these years he was still protective of her. The crush he had was gone, but it had been replaced by something more brotherly. A need to protect her.

Bev’s face crumbled and she looks up to catch Bill’s gaze. Immediately he knew it was something bad. He scoots a little closer to her.

“W-What’s wrong?” He asks, but Bev turns back to her phone.

“You know that Andy Miller kid?”

“The one a grade above us?” Stan asks, apparently also listening in. Bill was vaguely aware of Ben turning down the volume of the movie but he didn’t pay attention to it. Bev nods softly. “None of us know him well though, I think he was at that party once.” He continues. Bev glances up, eyes landing on Richie instead.

“You talked to him that night, right?” She asks, and Richie frowns slightly, shrugging.

“Met ‘im briefly that night.” He says quickly, and Eddie’s gaze lingers on Richie a little longer. There was a tightness in Richie’s voice that he couldn’t quite place. But he abandoned that thought as Bev continued.

“He filed a police report yesterday, says he was raped.” Bev spoke, and the room froze slightly at that. And they were all too shocked to notice Richie tensing on his spot, colour draining from his face, not because it wasn’t something he hadn’t expected to happen in the first place.

It was because he had expected it… had suspected it after _that_ night.

*

*

*

_He felt weird, his head fuzzy. But it was a welcome feeling, and he smiled like an idiot as he stumbled through the house, body moving with the music. He had no clue with who he was dancing, he just knew he was having a great time right now. _

_“Eddie Spaghetti!” Richie yells as he spots the younger boy, slinging an arm around him. _

_“Jesus fuck Richie, how much did you have?” Eddie complaints, untangling himself. Richie snickered, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his head a bit more. _

_“Just’a littl’ bit.” He slurred, bursting out in laughter at the horrified expression on Eddie’s face. “Don’t worry s’much Eds, ‘m perfectly fine. B’sides, you’re my Bobby.” He continued, slinging his arm around Eddie again. Eddie frowns at that, and it takes him a moment before he realises what Bobby means. _

_Bob, a campaign in Europe about being responsible with drinking and driving. Apparently when Richie found it he found it so fucking hilarious that he had kept the phrase and just used it whenever now. Eddie didn’t mind, as long as they stuck to it with the group and made sure they all came home. _

_This evening it was Eddie, who opted to stay sober to get the rest of the Losers home, even if only Richie, Bill and Beverly were really drunk right now. Stan didn’t drink either, but he was gone after Bill and Bev dragged him off to the dance floor. Mike and Ben weren’t at the party in the first place. _

_Eddie was about to respond when the song suddenly changed. _

_“Holy shit Eddie, this song is amazing!” Richie cheered, even if Eddie had no clue what it was. Richie immediately grabbed his hand, dragging him into the group of people dancing. Richie let out a yell, dancing wildly and dragging Eddie with him wherever he went. Eddie laughs, and it was obvious how wasted Richie was. _

_Eddie made a mental note himself to make sure Richie got in bed safely, and not just home. He wasn’t sure how much he could trust Richie right now to get into the bed and not trip on the stairs and potentially break his head open. But that was a worry for the next hour, for now he just went along. _

_He couldn’t stop the smile on his face either, but eventually he told Richie he’d head back to the living area to sit down. _

_“I’ll get’ya some drinks.” Richie said, and Eddie shakes his head. _

_“No alcohol!” He shouts over the noise, but Richie was already gone, walking over to the kitchen, only to immediately bump into someone. _

_“Oh fucking shit, I’m s’sorry.” Richie cursed to himself, looking up to see another guy turning around, the one he had just bumped into. But he just shrugged. _

_“Been there, done that.” He laughs, picking up his cup from somewhere. “I’m pretty fucking drunk right now as well.” He says, and only then does Richie realise that the guy had a shaking hand on the counter to steady himself. “Andy.” He says as he hands Richie his cup, turning back to grab himself one. _

_“What?” Richie frowns, brain struggling to figure out what he was saying. _

_“My name dipshit.” Andy rolls his eyes, and Richie chuckles at that, suddenly recognising him from school. He was in a grade above him._

_“Shit my bad, name’s Richie.” He mumbles, drinking from the cup as well. “Fucking shit that’s fucking strong.” Richie cursed as the alcohol burned his throat. _

_“You’ll get used to it.” Andy patted his shoulder, walking past him. Richie could see his legs shaking, or how he swayed dangerously and barely managing to stay upright. _

_And later he would realise that that was the first mistake he made.. not going after Andy, because if he had… what happened next wouldn’t have happened_.

*

*

*

“Do they know who did it, or when?” Eddie spoke up softly, and Richie blinks a couple of times to bring himself back to the present. Bev looks up at Eddie with a sad expression in her eyes.

“A senior, Olivia Johnson, at least that’s what he said, it doesn’t say when it happened.” Bev says, and Richie snorts suddenly at the revelation, a cold laugh escaping his lips. Immediately everyone looked at him, mixtures of confusion and wariness.

“That’s.. funny to you?” Stan asks, and Richie almost shivered at the tone.

“Of course it is, she’s a girl.” Richie shrugs, pushing down his own nausea.

“And?” Bev was the one to speak up this time, but her gaze was more confused than angry.

“We all know girls can’t rape guys.” Richie said. “Andy probably liked it but now he’s too ashamed to admit-”

“RICHIE!” Bev screeched, eyes going wide in terror. “What the fuck Richie?”

“What?!” Richie bites back, not backing down, _not again_. “I’m just stating the obvious here, he’s just doing this for attention or something. We all know he must’ve liked it or otherwise-”

“Otherwise w-what Richie?” Bill interrupted him harshly, and Richie flinched slightly.

“If he didn’t like it his dick wouldn’t have gotten hard, that’s basic biology. Without a hard dick she couldn’t have raped him. So he must have liked it.” Richie finished, looking at his friends. But they were all looking at him with a horrified expression.

And he had no idea why… girls couldn’t rape boys.. right?

*

*

*

_“Richie join us!” He heard a random voice yell, and it took him a moment to realise it was Bev. _

_“What ‘r we doing?” He asks, taking another sip of the alcohol, ignoring the burn and barely feeling it anymore. He said down on the armrest of the couch, next to Eddie he suddenly realised. He smiled down at the younger boy. _

_“A game, but we need one more person.” Eddie says, taking Richie’s cup from him and smelling it. Immediately his face contorts. “Shit Rich, that’s strong, you need water at this point.” Richie laughs at that, taking the cup back. _

_“No f’cking way, ‘m not even that drunk Edsie.” Richie slurred, and Eddie grumbled but couldn’t stop Richie from drowning the whole cup in one go. _

_“Richie!” Eddie yelled, slapping the cup out of Richie’s hand, and a bit of the alcohol landed on the floor. Richie didn’t seem annoyed at all, laughing at Eddie’s antics and pinching his cheeks. _

_“Cute cute cute!” He giggles as Eddie pushes a cup of water in his hand, before suddenly turning to Bill. “Oh I know... someone.” Richie slurred as he immediately got up, taking the cup of water with him. _

_“He’s not coming back within the hour huh?” He vaguely heard someone say but he ignored them, pushing himself to the main room to find Andy. He had no clue who this guy was besides a name and a grade, but he seemed nice, and drunk enough to join their game of.. whatever it was. _

_Richie frowned slightly, but he couldn’t seem to find Andy anywhere, so he walked upstairs. He wasn’t on that floor either so he got to the second floor, almost tripped twice, and banging his knee against the stairs once. He curses softly, a bit of water spilling from the cup but he just kept moving. _

_“Andyman!” He suddenly yells as he sees Andy standing in the hallway, or standing was a big word. He was barely holding on for dear life. “Andiana Jones, wh’t are you up here exploring?” He asks, and Andy blinks at him. _

_“‘m so fucking drunk Richie holy shit.” Andy struggles on his feet, and Richie can barely stop him from falling over. _

_“Take this.” Richie says, handing him the cup of water. “s w’ter.” He says, and Andy gratefully accept it, drinking it greedily. “Shit you really look like you’re gonna puke.” _

_Andy groans. “Feels like I will.” He says, and Richie sways slightly on his feet before steading himself. He could feel the alcohol getting to him, badly. _

_“Friends are playing a game downstairs, wanna join?” He asks, but Andy looks at the room he was waiting in front, and Richie just realised now that it was the bathroom. There was a moment of hesitation before he sighs. _

_“Sure.” He shrugs, and Richie grins before frowning a bit. _

_“You go ahead, I also need to take a leak.” Richie slurred, suddenly aware of how much his bladder was screaming at him, begging to relieve it. Andy just nods, leaving him to walk downstairs.. just as wobbly as before. _

_So wobbly that Richie wasn’t sure if he was going to make it downstairs, but he let him _

_His second mistake of the night, and a mistake he wouldn’t forgive himself_.

*

*

*

“Richie you can’t just say that.” Bev frowns, and Richie looks at her, feeling his throat close uncomfortably.

“Why?” He barely manages to squeeze past his throat.

“The human body doesn’t work that way and you know it. It will react to stimuli, even if you don’t want it.” Bev continues, her voice rising slightly. There was a furious expression on her face, and Richie shuddered, feeling tears burn in his eyes… the guilt he felt, for that stupid fucking mistake.

“You’re lying.” Because he couldn’t accept that she wasn’t.

“We’ve had this with biology just a month ago you fucker, you know this.” Eddie cuts in, throwing his hands up. _Oh he knew.. he knew all too well_. But it was easier to deny it, right?

“It’s not true Eds… they’re wrong.” Richie shoots back, but he can feel tears well up in his eyes.

“They’re not fucking wrong.” Eddie growls at him. “You’re being real fucking inconsiderate right now.” He adds, and Richie swallows, shaking his head.

“You’re wrong Eddie.. he liked it.” Richie says, tears jumping in his eyes. “I-I… I need to go to the bathroom.” He whispers, running off before they can stop him.

“What the fuck?” Bev curses lowly, but he ignores it, running upstairs. He can feel panic consume him, and he barely makes it to the upstairs bathroom before he retches. Bile forces itself upwards and he lunches for the toilet just before he pukes up all the garlic bread he had eaten just an hour ago.

*

*

*

_He retches, hoping desperately that something would just come up to help settle his upset stomach. He knew he drank too much, he had to have.. _

_“Shit are you okay?” A voice suddenly starts, and he looks up with a frown. He didn’t recognise the girl, but that could also be his hazy mind playing tricks on him. _

_“Just peachy.” Richie mumbles, turning back to the toilet and sniffling. He flushes the toilet, despite the fact that he hadn’t puked anything up. He slowly climbs to his feet. The girl walks over to him, handing him a cup. “N’thanks.” He shook his head but the girl laughs softly, shaking her head. _

_“Don’t worry, it’s just water.” She says, and Richie took it from her, gulping it down and grimacing. _

_“Th’t tastes h’rble.” He mumbles, and the girl laughs again. _

_“I filled up my alcohol cup with water, there was probably still some left.” She shrugs, before frowning. “Hey you okay?” She asks, but Richie shook his head. _

_“Ev’thin’s turnin’” He mumbles and the girl curses. _

_“Okay don’t worry, let’s get you to one of the bedrooms okay?” She asks, and Richie nods, allowing the girl to help him to the bedroom, and he sits down on the bed, grabbing his head against the spinning. _

_“Hey weird question but have you seen guy with blond spiky hair? His name is Andy, he was supposed to.. well wait on me.” She says, and Richie looks up at her. He could barely focus on her but a sly smile appears on her face. He knew exactly what she meant. _

_“B’yfriend?” He slurs but the girl shakes her head slightly. “N’t my business anyw’ys… went downstairs.” He breathes out, and the girl looks at him. _

_“Will you be okay here? I just want to make sure he’s alright.” She asks, but there was a weird tone in her voice, and later when Richie would be sober he would’ve realised that that should’ve been the warning sign, that that should’ve sobered him up and made him go to Andy himself. _

_To avoid what would happen next_.

_“No no, leave me, ‘l di’n peace.” He grins, and the girl chuckles, nodding as she walks out of the room to find Andy. _

*

*

*

“Shit Richie.” Bev curses, rushing over to Richie’s form as he vomits again. She kneels besides him, brushing his curls back as much as it was necessary, and she started rubbing his back. She was silent as Richie shook, dry heaving but nothing came up again.

“Why are you here?” Richie whispers, wiping his mouth and cringing at the filthy taste in his mouth. Bev sighs, standing up to grab a glass from the sink and filling it with water. Richie gratefully accepts, using the water to rinse his mouth before spitting it out again. He sighs miserably, moving away from the toilet.

Bev takes the glass back from him, flushing the toilet to get rid of the evidence before sitting down on the ground, watching him. They sit in silence for a while, Richie shaking slightly with his head in his hands. She had no idea how long it had been before she slowly stands up, knees popping.

“Come.” She just says, helping Richie up carefully to guide him towards Bill’s room.

“Why are you still so nice to me?” Richie whispers, but Bev shook her head as she pushes the door open, helping him over to the bed.

“Because I know you Richie… you wouldn’t say shit like this without a good reason.” She says, sitting down next to him. “So spill.” She says, but Richie shakes his head.

“There’s nothing to spill, you guys were wrong.” He snaps, and Bev sighs.

“We both know that that’s not true.” Bev retorts, staring at Richie with no hesitation.

“It is Bev, you just don’t know cause you’re a girl but that’s how we work. We just like sex, and so d-did Andy.” He stutters slightly, and Bev frowns at that. She sighs, looking down at their hands for a moment before looking back up. Richie _hated_ lying to her, he hated everything about this situation.

Bev was one of his best friends, someone he confided in a lot. Only Bev could truly understand what he was going through at his own home, even if she had no clue it went past intimidation and neglect. But she understood nevertheless, and he could trust her, he knew that damn well.

And it wasn’t unusual for him to confide in Bev instead of Eddie after a bad night. Her aunt didn’t even mind him coming over at the weirdest hours, had even showed him where the damn ladder was so he could climb into her window without breaking his fucking neck when he fell down.

“Richie why do you lie about it?” Bev asks again. “Why don’t you want to accept that it could’ve been rape?” Richie finally couldn’t hold the tears back, and they spilled down his cheeks. He looks up, and Bev can feel her heart break at his desperate expression, looking more lost than she had ever seen him.

“Because that means it happened to me too.”

*

*

*

_Richie groans, eyes fluttering open as he hears the door open again. He couldn’t seem to focus on the face, but he could probably guess who it was. _

_“‘Livia?” He slurs, because when she was gone he had suddenly remembered where he knew her from; Olivia Johnson, senior at their school. “Andy?” He asks as she nods, closing the door behind her. _

_“Couldn’t find him, I think he already left.” Which was a fucking lie of course, but Richie would only realise that later. Because Andy was with his friend, being fed loads of water and banned from going anywhere else cause he was so drunk, even if he was already sobering up a bit. _

_“Oh.. “ Richie muttered, rubbing his face and sitting up. The only thing he had managed to do was scoot further back on the bed, the pillows doing wonders for his spinning head. He felt the bed dip slightly and he looks to the left to see Olivia next to him, he blinks a couple of times but she reaches out for his glasses, taking them off. _

_He makes a protesting sound but his limbs felt weak, and he couldn’t seem to say much that would make sense. Then Olivia’s lips were suddenly on his, soft lips on his dry ones. This was wrong; wrong wrong wrong. He felt panic grip him, pooling in his stomach and he struggled a bit. _

_“Don’t fight it.” She whispers in his ear and Richie shuddered, whimpering. But he couldn’t get himself to move before he was pushed down. Olivia sat down on top of him, knees on either side of his stomach and she leaned down, kissing him again. Wrong wrong wrong.. everything about this was wrong. _

_But his mind swirled, and he could only whimper, hoping that she’d understand. _

_Her hands trailed downwards, pushing his shirt up slightly and he shivered as her cold hands rested on his stomach for a moment before they eventually trailed to his belt. Richie could do nothing but lay there, screaming at himself to move, do something, but he just couldn’t. He could do nothing as she undid his belt. _

_“Stop.” He whimpered but he could barely even hear himself. He tried pushing her off but his arms felt like jelly, and they flopped onto the bed again. He sobbed as the continued as if he hadn’t done anything, when he knew damn well she had heard it. _

_And then he realised… the way she looked for Andy.. the drink she had handed him that tasted funny… her coming back…._

_She probably didn’t care even if she’d understand him. _

*

*

*

“Oh Richie,” Bev whispers softly next to him, hesitantly reaching for his hand. Richie flinches at the touch, not daring to look up. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, but it wasn’t your fault. And that wasn’t sex, that was-”

“Please don’t say it.” Richie cuts her off, voice almost too low for her to hear it. “You’re wrong.. I.. my body .. I was hard... I’m s-supposed to like it.” He stutters, fresh tears cascading down his cheeks. Bev shakes her head firmly.

“No Richie, you’re wrong,” She says again, shifting so she was facing him better. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I need to say it. What she did was wrong, so incredibly wrong. It doesn’t matter that your body reacted, what she did was rape.” Richie whimpered at the word, trying to curl in on himself.

He shook his head wildly, mumbling to himself. “No no no no.. no you’re wrong, I-” He stops himself, standing up so suddenly it surprised Beverly. His eyes were wide with panic, and his eyes were red with tears behind his glasses. His hands shook besides him and he breathes in through his nose.

He looked so incredibly lost, pacing in Bill’s room and Bev had no idea how to fix it. This was new territory for all of them. But she couldn’t help but think about that night. The thought that while she had been playing that game, barely even remembering Andy was there as they were all pretty drunk and with a bunch of people.

While they were having fun.. Richie was upstairs with that girl.

And now it suddenly all made sense. Why Eddie had to go look for Richie when they wanted to go, how silent he was on the way home. She just thought he was tired, too drunk to be coherent, but the thought that that wasn’t the whole story just hit her like a bunch in the gut, that she wasn’t _there_ for him.

How he didn’t answer them the whole weekend, claiming he had a massive hangover.. that was all a lie.

“Bev please tell me I’m right.. please.” Richie’s voice cracked, but when Bev looked up, she could see it was futile. She couldn’t lie to him anymore, not even if she wanted to, because Richie understood… he understood what had happened to him. He sobbed loudly at the suddenly realisation.

Bev was immediately on her feet, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around him tightly. Bev didn’t have time to think about whether it was a good idea, if she wouldn’t freak him out by the sudden touch, because Richie immediately wrapped his arms around Bev as well, burying his face in her shoulder.

He cried, loud sobs tearing from his mouth as he clung to Beverly as if it was the only thing keeping him sane.

Richie’s legs shook, and Bev slowly lowered them to the ground, and she shifted slightly to get more comfortable without disturbing Richie. The boy didn’t even seem to realise that they had moved, or didn’t care enough to show it. He just continued to cry as Bev could do nothing but hold him.

She had no idea how long it had been, but eventually Richie’s sobs decreased, until he was silent next to her. Bev carefully carted her fingers through his curly hair, glancing at him with a worried expression. Richie didn’t react to her, but was now leaning his head on Bev’s shoulder and body filled with exhaustion.

“Are you still with me Riche?” She asks softly, and Richie just nods silently, focusing on the way Bev gently tugs at the knots in his hair. “Think you’re ready to go back down?” She continues, and Richie stiffens next to her, and for the first time he pulls away to look at Beverly with a broken expression.

“I c-can’t… I can’t tell.. not again.” He whispers, and Bev nods in understanding.

“Do you want me to tell them? I can even tell them to mind their own business for the rest of the night.” Bev asks, and Richie smiles slightly despite himself. It was a shaky and hesitant smile, but a smile nevertheless.

“Could you?” He mumbles, and Bev nods, tugging a few strands of hair behind his ear.

“You really need to get that cut soon.” She speaks absently, but Richie looks down in shame.

“What am I gonna do Bev? What’s going to happen to me?” He asks, and Bev swallows again. It was not easy to see her friend like this, so broken and scared.

“We’ll figure it out Richie, we’ll help you,” Bev speaks up in a soft voice. “It depends on what _you _want, but maybe therapy.” She adds, and Richie hesitantly looks up.

“Do I need to report… _her_.” He speak, and Bev could feel a stab of pain at the way Richie didn’t even dare to speak her name out loud.

“Only if you want to Richie, it will help, I know it’s scary but it does help.” Richie watches Beverly with a sad expression. They all knew too well about her father, and even if he never went _that_ far, it still hurt her badly, and it took a lot of courage to speak up. And even if Richie would never dare to minimise that.

Beverly was fucking brave for doing so… but her father was dead already.

“Can we.. talk about it tomorrow?” Richie whispers, and Bev’s face softens, nodding.

“Of course Rich.” She says, standing up. “ How about you get changed into your pyjamas when I go tell the rest?” She asks, a linger of doubt in her voice. She didn’t want to sound _too_ casual, but at the same time she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, Richie hated that, hated tense situations.

She knew that he just wanted to enjoy the rest of the evening right now, as much as that was possible.

“Please.” Richie whispers and Bev nods, wrapping her arms around him quickly before almost hesitantly leaving the room so Richie could change. She knew he’d take time to do so, and that she had enough time to tell the rest of the Losers. But she was _not_ looking forwards to that conversation.

“What’s wrong with him?” Eddie immediately asks as Bev enters the room. And Bev finds herself tearing up the moment she hears that question, a loud sob escaping her. They had all heard Richie vomiting, they all knew something was up with Richie as he would never say something like that.

Bill was the first one to move, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her.

“Richie said I could tell you.” Bev mumbled shakily as she was done crying, way too soon but she knew she didn’t have the entire evening. Bill led her back to the couch, not leaving her side. “I don’t know where to start.” Bev laughs slightly, wiping at the tears, and Mike, the darling, hurries back from the kitchen with a glass of water.

She gratefully accepts it, taking a sip.

She had to be brave when Richie was with her, had to be the rock Richie could cling to cause he needed that at that moment, he needed Beverly to be his support. But now Richie was gone.. Beverly allowed herself to be vulnerable. Both because she could be vulnerable with her friends.

But also because she was breaking on the inside.

“Olivia didn’t just rape Andy,” Bev starts softly. “Do you remember that party... when we were playing that game and in the end you had to get Richie from upstairs?” She didn’t even have to say it out loud, just that was enough for the rest to understand what had happened to Richie that night.

Eddie paled considerably, and even Ben looked like he was about to be sick.

“Richie… blamed himself.. told him it wasn’t rape because he was a guy, he was supposed to like it.” Bev hesitantly follows.

“Accepting Andy was raped would mean he was too.” Mike whispers, and Bev nods with tears in her eyes.

“Holy shit.” Stan murmured, gripping his hair with both hands, wide eyes staring at the rest. He just felt.. _lost_… lost for words at the moment. None of them knew what to do.. what to say right now.

“What happens now?” Ben asks, and they all look at him with lost expressions. Bev wets her lips, feeling emotionally drained.

“We finish the movie… Richie doesn’t want to talk.. not tonight so we don’t bring it up. And we’re going to finish that god awful movie and then go to sleep,” Bev murmurs, and she was just glad the rest of the Losers seemed to agree. And for some reason, Bev was glad Richie didn’t take long to get down.

The anticipation was suffocating almost, but at the same time, seeing Richie entering wasn’t much better either. He looked so bad, eyes puffy and red, being swallowed up by pyjamas that were a few sizes too big, even for his tall body. He stood there, looking so lost in the moment before Eddie moved, gesturing to the spot next to him.

Richie smiles softly, glancing at Bev for a moment. There were still tears in her eyes as well but she was leaning against Bill’s side, body slumped against his with emotional exhaustion. Richie swallows thickly as he walks over to the spot next to Eddie, snuggling up against the boy. Eddie doesn’t say anything, and even tries to _not_ stare at him.

He does reach out to wrap the blanket around the both of them, and Richie tugs at his end slightly to curl up even more.

“I know you don’t want to talk right now, but I’m here if you do.” Eddie whispers softly so only Richie could hear him, despite what Bev has told him. Richie was his best friend, and he needed to know he was there for him, no matter what. Richie didn’t respond, but also didn’t turn away at the comment so Eddie took that as a good sign.

Instead he simply put his head on Eddie’s shoulder, snuggling close and closing his eyes. And for a moment, he allowed himself to believe everything would around.

And he allowed the sounds of the movie, and the knowledge that his friends were huddled so close to him, protecting him, to lull him asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing against any of the ships.. I just adore them just being friends and being one big happy family. Idk Richie still has some hints with Eddie cause I headcanon Richie as Bisexual anyways, but no established relationships here.
> 
> Full warning:  
TW; vomiting, rape, drugging someone.  
Talks about rape of a minor OC, and flashbacks leading up to Richie being raped (but it’s never actually written).


End file.
